"I was in town one day with my kiddo's at the local library. The library was needing someone to fill in and help out for a while. As we were walking in this well dressed, aged woman,with a poodle in her lap, spoke up sharply. "Well, here is someone who doesn't have a real job and has time to volunteer. Your just a stay at home Mom." Just a Mom- as I gasped for air! Definition: A stay at home, a bon bon eating, soap opera watching, sleep'in late, got it made in the shade- Mom. Oh, wait - that was my Mom. Confession: I do like to sleep in. Justification: I hit the floor running and don't stop till bed. As for the rest of this worldly definition, I don't think so! That Mom, that gave us a bad wrap need's to be spanked with her spatula.
Hunny and I met at church in the fall of 1992, on a Sunday morning. He was new, I was polite, but not too nice- he could'a be a bank robber or something. He came to church several times and wanted to know where I lived. I kept putting him off. That should of been my clue he wasn't just gonna go away after few weeks. I was a church bus kid. One evening he followed the church bus home. "Now I know where you live," he said. My step - father was all bark and stopped around like Hector, the big bull dog on looney toons. We lived down in the geto part of Waco. I didn't want anyone to know were we lived. Nothing seemed to scare him away. One month later we became an item. We were only allowed to hang out at church of course or sit on the sofa with the embarrassing family. I was all of 14, did I mention that. I had just started the 9th grade. We courted/dated for four years. They dragged on like molasses without an end. Hunny proposed when I was 17 at a park near my grandmothers home. The Lord has a plan.
The Lord told me he was the one. I knew without a shadow of doubt that he was my soul mate. We talked about everything me and the Lord. My parents were not easy to confide in nor were they approving. They are not Christians, then or now. Their plans for me was not mine. I had no vision for higher education. I had worked full time the last two years of school and graduated in the top 20 of my class- I am so not bragging. I worked hard for every A or B I got. It sure didn't come naturally. The thought of college was depressing. More than that, I had no peace. The Lord has a plan.
After graduation, one month later, we married. My parents schemed and plotted up to the day to foil the marriage. One month after the life changing day we moved to big Donie, TX. I was in such culture shock, Yikes. About the same time as the move, I began throwing up my toe nails. I was indeed gonna have a baby. I was quite sick, all day, every day, every meal, -for the whole nine months. No worries about work or school now. I have never had a gift with children. Many people are given a talent, blessing, or gift to work with children. I never had the patience, desire, or talent. I thought surely it won't be so bad- at least they'll be mine. The Lord worked upon my heart and mind during those 9 sickly months. I wanted so much more spiritually for my children than what I grew up with. The Lord had a plan.
A while after Catie Bug was born, I felt the need to go back to work. I had this pressure from church friends and others to go back to work. I battled with it. When at home I felt guilty for not working. When at work I felt guilt for not being at home. I couldn't figure out my place. Society is convinced that baby sitters, crazy work hours, feeling tired, no time off, short tempers is the way to go. The worked, hard, and was good at what I did. I moved up in pay and reputation. My kids were with this sitter and that one all because I held my allegiance higher "work" than family. The Lord dealt with me. It wasn't pretty. I went through an angry stage. I didn't want to give up all that I had worked for. Money, that was my money, I earned. The Lord had a plan.
Someone gave me that Pearl book. You know who you are. The book that stirred it all up! I was as angry as anyone else who's read that book and rejected it. I finished reading it though. And the Lord spoke to me, softly, and gently. My heart quivers as I type and my eyes water even now. He told me, "He Loves me- and his grace is sufficient for me. And it's OK to be just a Mom." It wasn't my job to have the job. It is my job to raise the babies he entrusted me with. Such peace over flowed my heart and soul. NO more did I buy the lie. I didn't have to work outside the home to prove anything. What a disservice our Mothers did for us. The Lord had a plan.
It wasn't long and the Lord dealt with me about homeschooling. It was a tremendous leap of faith. Hunny was out of work, had been for a year or so. I turned in my notice and told my boss, who was going to gift her business to me, that come end of May- I was finished. Her words were, "You'll be back." And nope, she wasn't to supportive. We took the next few months to unschool and unwork to develop a new routine. I look back now and love those "Donie Day's" as we call them. The bible time, tea parties, schooling out side in lawn chairs, Sis stretched out in the hay reading a book, late night with fiddler on the roof, are all treasured memories. The Lord had a plan.
Mom's with little ones. It will not always be so. The days are long exhausting and few of appreciation. Hang in there. Try not to be stressed over perfection. Share with the Lord- he wants to hear of you day. Family must be a priority. The Lord entrusted us Mom's with such a valuable treasure. We are to teach and raise these babies up to Love Him- with all their heart, mind and soul. To be a Mom should not be thought of as an inferior job but rather of the greatest, humblest, of God given responsibilities. The Lord brought all these memories flooding my mind with sewing this evening. I am not proud of all of them but would be disobedient if I didn't share. I share with you and your daughter- to not doubt the Lord. The Lord doesn't follow the social trends and neither should we. Home truly is were our treasure is. The Lord has a plan."
~Beautifully Created 4 Christ~
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